Is this surprising to anyone??????

I consider myself a fairly hip, open and progressive person. But, even I am uncomfortable with the amount of sexuality on TV today, particularly among shows that are marketed to “teens.”

Two and a Half Men—Emmy-award winning “family” sitcom starring a teen—mentions sex EVERY episode THROUGHOUT every episode. Now it’s in syndication.

Reality shows like Tila Tequila, The Real World, Flavor of Love, Rock of Love and so many more have young people with fake breasts, dressing scantily, stripping for men, and having sex with one another. With NO consequences.
Here are some of my concerns:

Some will argue that these shows are just “reflecting” what teens are really doing…….
Teens drink alcohol and experiment with marijuana and other drugs. If the majority of programming on TV had young people drinking heavily and using drugs, there would be public outrage.

Adolescence is about figuring out who you are, what you believe and how you want to portray yourself to the world. Television should offer more options with healthy role models and guidance—or at least portray therealities related to early (and unprotected) sexual behavior.

My advice:

• Get teens involved in activities so they are not watching hours of TV all day/night

• No TVs in bedrooms, only shared family spaces so parents can better monitor teens’ viewing habits

• “Just Say No”—parents should not allow teens to watch shows that they believe contains “over 18” material

• Parents should WATCH what their teens are watching (with or without them around) to get a sense of the tone, the content, and the messages their children are soaking up daily

• Parents need to educate their teens regarding what IS and IS NOT shown in these shows related to sexual behavior and the emotional and physical consequences that the shows don’t talk about

Clearly sex on TV isn’t the only thing impacting teen’s pregnancy rates, but now we have some research showing it is one piece of the puzzle that we must address……..

For more advice on TEENS, check out my book WHEN TO WORRY: How to Tell if Your Teen Needs Help—and What to Do About It

It was a great group! I’ve always found Nebraska—particularly Lincoln–one of the country’s best kept secrets.

Nebraska is currently struggling in a way they never expected. The legislature recently passed a “Safe Haven” law to allow parents (usually young mothers) to anonymously drop off an infant they are unable to care for without facing penalty or prosecution for abandonment.
As someone who has appeared on Nancy Grace commenting about tragic stories of day-old infants found in trash cans and fields, I am a huge supporter of this type of law.

The Nebraska law allows a “child” to be dropped off, purposely broadening the term from infancy to help protect toddlers who may be at risk for harm.

Eighteen children have been dropped off since the law went into effect in July. Unfortunately, many of them have been older children and TEENS. A grieving widower dropped off nine of his children aged 1-17 years old because he could not take care of them.

Another woman dropped off her 15-year old nephew when she and his guardian could not take care of him (his mother died and his father left him years before). She said they tried medication and discipline, but could no longer handle his behavior problems. A 14-year old from Iowa was dropped off and one mother drove 12 hours to drop off her 13-years old son.

See Dr. Lisa on CNN Headline News discussing the Nebraska Safe Haven/Teen story (Part 2 of a 2-part interview)

Some people see these parents as horrible, terrible parents. I don’t. Not at all. In my work I come into contact with parents across the county who are stressed out, overwhelmed, and desperate.

Should they be dropping their children off? Of course not.

But this speaks to two things

1) how distressed and overwhelmed many of today’s parents are

2) that resources to help them are either not available or if they are, parents don’t know how to access them.

This is not a Nebraska problem, there are parents feeling the same way around the country. This broadened “Safe Haven” law has brought the issue to the forefront. This unintended consequence of the law will hopefully lead to something positive.

Parents/caregivers need resources and help. Most cities and counties offer a variety of services through

1) calling 211 for assistance

2) local community mental health centers typically offer low-cost help or

3) CHINS—“Children In Need Of Services” through the family courts can provide out-of-home placements if necessary.

Parents/caregivers need to know these resource exist and need an easy way of accessing them.   Nebraska state law makers will likely change the law by adding an age limit, but I hope they also spend time, energy and money making sure that parents/caregivers of teens also get the help THEY need.

Hopefully, this can then serve as a model for the rest of the country…….

Usually, agencies and organizations bring me in to talk only to their staff, but these 2 talks are open to EVERYONE.

Thursday October 23, 2008

1) Teens with Mental Health Disorders: Who They REALLY Are (Daytime)

More Information

2) When to Worry: How to Tell if Your Teen Needs Help–and What to Do Next (Evening)

More Information

Would be great to see you if you live in the area!

AND…

We’ll have copies of my book When to Worry and new DVD The Secret Cut available at an event discount!

As you can imagine, I wasn’t a fan of the idea. It’s her body and her choice as to what she wants to do with it (this is NOT the first auction of this kind). But what effect will this very public auction have on young girls graduating from high school-especially  if their family doesn’t have money to send them to college?

Will these girls decide to finance their education by auctioning off their virginity to the highest bidder?

I have a Ph.D in Psychology and paid for my education with a combination of waitressing, student loans, and low-paying counseling jobs. What about those options?

This public “virginity auction” comes at an interesting time. Virginity is actually fashionable again now that The Jonas Brothers and other pop stars are talking about the virtue of waiting until marriage to have sex. Even if teens can’t wait until marriage, don’t we at least want them to wait until they’re in a committed relationship-rather than the one with the most CASH?

I find it sad….for the auctionee, but mostly for the young people who will hear about her and think it’s a good idea.

visit my website When To Worry

Mommy Wars

In one corner……..

Many mothers know the tremendous amount of love, time, energy and sacrifice (willingly given) that goes into raising children when one is devoted to their health and happiness. They question Sarah Palin’s decision to run for Vice President NOW.

Why not wait until her 4-month-old who was born with Down Syndrome is older?

Why not be more available to him during these critical developmental years?

Sarah Palin is 42, so they believe she has plenty of time to run for National office. But, she will not have another chance for these early years with him. Because Palin’s 17-year old, un-wed pregnant daughter will also need a great deal of love and support as she tries to raise a newborn, these moms believe Palin should also be available to her.

The issue with these moms is not “working mothers”—MOST mothers work—whether they want to or have to. It is the nature of her job: running the most powerful country in the world. These mothers criticize Palin’s “priorities” and say that she is selfish, putting her personal need for power and success above the needs of her children—two of whom are in special situations right now.

In the other corner……

Many mothers are thrilled to have a candidate who is a working mother they can relate to. They’re attitude is “you go girl!” They believe that Palin’s husband should be–and can be–an equal partner in the care giving of the children.

In this day and age, they believe he can even be the primary caregiver. To them, the mommy’s who question Palin’s priorities are taking women backwards, asking the public to view Palin as if we are in the 1950s when a woman’s role was solely to remain in the home and raise the children.

They view Palin as a mother who “has it ALL” and are inspired by that. She was asked to run for the Vice Presidency of America NOW, they support her running NOW—and her family situation only makes them like her more.

My question is this…..

Does her family situation matter?

Does it give us a window into character, priorities, ability to lead?

Should it be considered by moms when they cast their vote?

My opinion on this changes daily.

What I DON’T hear moms talking about is whether Palin’s beliefs, values, and goals for this country fit with their own. And this makes me sad.

Will moms take the time to find out Palin’s views on the economy, health care, reproductive rights, what should/should not be taught in schools, energy, oil drilling, endangered species, climate control/global warming, guns, foreign policy (Iraq, Afghanistan, China, Iran), etc.

Shouldn’t moms be asking themselves—“What would MY life be like if Palin were elected?” “How would it affect MY FAMILY?”

Moms are so busy fighting each other…….I’m concerned these mothers will not have enough time to educate themselves on ALL the issues before they vote. Whichever way they vote.

Read Sarah Palin’s Speech Here

I can’t and won’t believe the conclusions of this survey.

I’m not saying that ADHD is or is not on the rise (in fact, soon I’ll talk about how common ADHD is!), but I am frustrated by headlines and so-called “national studies” that are inaccurate and weak.

This study found:

• 9% of children have ADHD

• Boys had ADHD more often than girls

• White and Black children have ADHD more than Hispanic children

• Children with Medicaid have ADHD more than uninsured or privately insured children

This study (and the headlines) forget to emphasize that they consider a child as suffering from ADHD if “a doctor or health professional ever told the parent that their child had ADHD….

I think that is crazy.

Just because a doctor SAID a youth has ADHD in no way means the youth ACTUALLY HAS the disorder. In fact, they aren’t even saying that a “mental health professional” said the youth had ADHD.

In this day and age of managed care, the burden on pediatricians and family physicians to assess and treat mental health disorders during brief time-limited visits, and health professionals lack of training in psychological testing-the rate of over, under and mis-diagnosis of mental health disorders among youth is becoming epidemic.

Anxiety looks like ADHD. Drug use can look like ADHD. The manic phase of Bipolar Disorder can look like ADHD. Hyperthyroidism can look like ADHD. Chronic lack of sleep can look like ADHD. A child who is being abused or neglected can look as if they have ADHD. Some children are more hyperactive or distractible than their siblings or peers-they don’t necessarily have ADHD.

Did each of these doctors rule out all these other potential causes? Did they interview the child, the parents, teachers, school counselors and other adults familiar with the youth’s behavior?

We don’t know.

This survey tells us what percentage of youth have been DIAGNOSED with ADHD. Many of them may not truly have the disorder. And there are likely plenty of youth walking around suffering from ADHD, but nobody has diagnosed them yet. So this survey tells us nothing about the how many youth TRULY HAVE ADHD.

Plus……
1)    Doctors DIAGNOSE ADHD more often in boys (What about all the girls with ADHD walking around undiagnosed and untreated—the survey doesn’t mention them)

2)    Hispanic youth DIAGNOSED with ADHD less. Due to the stigma related to mental illness in the Hispanic community, is it possible parents are not seeking help from “doctors” for their child’s emotional or behavioral problems? (this study tells us nothing about the true rate of ADHD among Hispanic youth)

3)    Surprise, surprise…..children with Medicaid are DIAGNOSED more often with ADHD “Uninsured” youth aren’t getting diagnosed with ADHD because they aren’t seeing doctors. Privately insured youth are more likely to receive comprehensive mental health evaluations that accurately diagnose ADHD only when appropriate. With Medicaid, doctors are often limited regarding the amount of time they can spend assessing all the potential mental health disorders that mimic ADHD. Receiving a diagnosis of ADHD and a prescription for stimulant medication is much easier than addressing the complex issues that often make low-income youth distractible and impulsive.

If a government agency reports on the number of youth SUFFERING from the mental health disorder ADHD, the answer should not be based on “parent’s report of what a doctor or health professional said.” Even if this current survey accurately reflects the true prevalence of ADHD, using this method is misleading and fails to communicate to families, schools, and policy-makers the importance of a comprehensive mental heath evaluation for accurately identifying which youth truly have a mental health disorder, exactly which one(s) they suffer from, and which youth are displaying typical behavior for their age. Without quality control in this area, over, under, and mis-diagnosis will continue to plague families and schools across our nation.

Olympic Champions

How refreshing to watch the female gymnasts at the 2008

Olympics demonstrate the exact opposite of how teens are typically portrayed in the media. Those teenage girls were respectful, focused, driven, and exhibited phenomenal sportsmanship! Despite the “superhuman” twists, turns, and vaults these girls displayed, what made me feel so good, is how human and how adolescent they still are:

Olympic Teens

Shawn Johnson, 16, from Iowa watches So You Think You Can Dance and Dancing With The Stars. She has had three of her short stories published and is an honor roll student. Read More…

Nastia Liukin, 19, from Texas listens to Kelly Clarkson and has been accepted at Southern Methodist University. Read More…

Alicia Sacramone, 21, wants to become a fashion designer. She views her parents as her biggest role models due to teaching her that “hard work brings rewards.” Read More

Rather than the models on the pages of fashion magazines, I wish more of our teens looked to these role models to emulate. In fact, I think they have a lot to teach adults as well! Read More..

1) Decide if You Need to Reinvent Yourself. WHO Gave You the Label?

Was it the “popular” kids who called you a nerd? The rich kids who called you a “loser?” A

Dr. Lisa Boesky

Dr. Lisa Boesky

doctor who diagnosed you with ADHD after a five minute interview? If they had no clue who you really were, why put so much stock in their opinion?

If your label has some validity and you WANT to re-invent yourself……

2) Write Down 4 Positive Aspects of Someone with Your Label

–If you have Dyslexia, reading and writing may be a struggle—but you are likely creative, think out of the box, and are great at oral presentations.

–If you have ADHD, you may be hyper and distractible—which means you have a lot of energy, can multi-task, and likely think much faster than most.

–If you were the “poor kid from the wrong side of the tracks”—you are probably resourceful, self-reliant, not paralyzed by setbacks, and confident in your ability to survive anything.

What better traits for CEOs, Inventors, and anyone who wants to succeed?

3) List How the Positive Aspects of Your Label Can Help You Reach Your Dream

If you were labeled a “nerd,” think about how your intelligence, ability to prioritize, good study skills, research abilities, and not wasting time/energy on partying can help you develop that product you’ve got in your head or take your business to the next level.

4) Take 3 Actions Putting Your Positive Traits In Motion

Make a prototype. Research similar products. Call some distributors. Get a patent.

Actions are critical to convince everyone you are MORE than your label. And to convince yourself!

5) Evaluate How Your “Re-Invention” is Working for You

You may have gotten a “real job”—but you are bored out of your mind.

You may have the money and success you wanted, but now there is no time for your family.

You may be seen as hip and cool, but your old friends no longer want to hang out with you.

The goal is to take your strengths and channel them into an area you are passionate about to increase your happiness, productivity and success. Not just get a new label.

Note: A study of CEOs found 30% had Dyslexia. Great leaders like Charles Schwab, Richard Branson, and Ted Turner were diagnosed with Dyslexia. The CEO of JetBlue, James Carville, Olympic Swimmer Michael Phelps have ADHD. They did not let labels hold them back—and neither should you!

Pregnant Teens

Dr. Lisa Boesky, clinical psychologist and national speaker recently appeared on CBS’ The Early Show to discuss this phenomenon brought to the mainstream media because of the pregnancy pact among teens in Massachusetts

On the plus side, there has been a drop in childhood deaths from injuries, and fewer eighth graders are smoking, according to the report, put out by the Federal Interagency Forum on Child and Family Statistics.

The proportion of Asian and Hispanic children in the population has increased, which reflects the growing diversity among individuals of all ages across the country.

A particularly disturbing trend was the increase in Homicides committed by teenagers– up for the first time since the early 1990′s.

Other risky behaviors, such as alcohol and drug use did not increase or decrease. Read More..